Thanks to Harry8Sack@aol.com for this one.
+
At the movies, sit behind someone, w/ an unsuspecting friend. Quietly pull out a container of hand cream and squirt it on the person in front of you. Immediately duck behind the person's seat. As the stranger yells at your terrified friend who tries to explain that it's your fault, you come back up wiping your mouth and apologizing for the incident.
Thanks to Zach for this section of the list.
+
When you are at a movie theater, school class, etc, throw little pieces of crap at people, then if they respond blame it on someone else, using different people every time.
+ Make up events; concerts, parties, etc. and tell everyone to go to them. If this works, be waiting at the place and throw water ballons at them or make scary noises if appropriate.
+ Start laughing at very randum times and don't stop.
+ Spit all the time, especially during "serious" conversions.
+ Name your dog "ask him".
+ Ask to borrow pennies from people and swear youll pay them back ASAP.
+ In 7-11, etc, get a slurpee, walk to the cash register, drink some, go refill it, repeat...
+
Greet everyone you know with "howdy partner" for six months
+ At your friend's house, play with his stereo and pretend you don't know what your doing.
+ Pee on the toilet seat.
+ Take showers at odd times when at a friend's house.
+ While driving, leave the radio on scan.
+ Tell your friends that the new Hanson album is way hardcore.
+ For a week, talk with an overly loud voice and pretend you can't hear anything.
+ While driving on a two lane road, pull up to someone going really slow and drive side by side with them.
+ Drive with the gas tank open or with something on the roof.
+ Pretend to hitch-hike and when someone pulls over ask if they have any gum, then tell them that you don't need a ride.
+ Tell McDonalds that you want exactly 69 ketchup packets no more no less.
+ Steal people's shopping carts that have food in them.
+
If a phrase in a movie that you and friends are watching strikes you as funny be sure to repeat the phrase to your friends at least 10 times all the while bellowing "that was hilarious" and laughing in a high-pitched whine.
+ Repeat sitcom catch phrases that are not relevant to the subject at hand.
+ When entering an acquaintance's house immediately grab the phone and call and answer all the pages you got on the drive over.
+ Say words that make no sense whatsoever then laugh at your fresh wit.
+ Act like an incredibly flitty homosexual even though you are not actually one all the while proclaiming how you love women.
+ Put an annoyingly loud and sensitive alarm on your car.
+ Buy a Honda Civic and have it lowered.
+ Have your license plate read "VULGAR" to show how much you love the group
Pantera.
+ When you see a police car that has pulled someone over speed up and wave to the person who has been pulled over.
+ Act like Beavis from "Beavis and Butthead" for 2 years then stop for no reason and act like Eric Cartman from "South Park".
+ Have your parents pay your rent then talk about how broke you are to your roommates when it's time to pay bills.
These are all true....unfortunately.
+
Adjust the tint on your TV screen so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way"
+
Drum on every available table surface.
+ Staple papers in the middle of the page.
+ Sew anti-theft
detector strips into people's backpacks.
+ Hide dairy products in
inaccessible places.
+ Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
+ Set alarms for random times.
+ Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to "lick the flavor off".
+ Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
+ Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" sound.
+ Honk and wave to strangers.
+ Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
+ Decline to be seated at a
restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
+ Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
+ Rouse your
roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Magic".
+ Leave someone's printer in
impressed-italic-Cyrillic-landscape mode.
+ Buy large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
+
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
+ Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
+ Write "X-buried treasure" in random spots on road maps.
+
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
+
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
+
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
+
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
+
Push all the flat Lego pieces together firmly.
+
At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
+
Wear a cape that says "magnificent one".
+
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
+
Drive half a block.
+
Name your dog "Dog".
+
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
+
Ask people what gender they are.
+
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
+
Forget the punch line of a really long joke, but assure the listener that it was a "Real Hoot".
+
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off in case "the big one comes".
+
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
+
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
+
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
+
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
+
Change your name to James Aaaaaaaasmith for the great glory of being the first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce every "A".
+
Sit in your front yard pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
+
Chew on pens that you have borrowed.
+
Sing along at the opera.
+
Mow your lawn with scissors.
+
Finish all your sentences with the words "In accordance to the Prophesy".
+
Incessantly recite annoying phrases such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket".
+
Stare at the static on the TV and claim that you see a "Magic Picture".
+
Select the same song in the jukebox 50 times.
+
Scuff your feet on dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
+
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more at any time.
+
Never make eye contact.
+
Never break eye contact.
+
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
+
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
+
Go to parties that you're not invited to.
+
Call people at 5 o'clock a.m.
+
Go to a friend's house and eat everything in the refrigerator.
+
Start and argument and make clear to others that you are never wrong.
+
Sing to every song that the radio plays (and create your own lyrics).
+
Mow your lawn Monday morning at 5:00 am (make sure you make a lot of noise).
+
When listening to someone always answer "ahh?"
+
Hum a tune while studing in a study group.
+ Smile and make funny faces to every single baby.
At a restaurant:
+ Ask for a cup of hot water (no tea no coffee... Just plain hot water).
+ Ask for natural fresh fruit juice.
+ Ask for a description of every item you see on the menu.
While driving:
+ Put your signal to turn right and then turn left or don't turn at all.
+ Drive at the same speed of the car just next to you.
+ Drive very slowly on the fast lane.
+ Make eye contact with the people you are talking to while you are driving.
+ Turn the radio up every time a new song starts.
+ Drive very slowly, wait
until the car behind you start to pass you, then drive faster!
At a friends house:
+ Ask for water the moment you get in, every single time you visit.
+ Make sure your shoes are very moody before entering.
+ Ask for the bathroom the moment you get in, every time you visit.
+ Always complain about their dog (ask to get it out of the house
every time you visit).