Dog Haikus

1.
I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

2.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

3.
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.

4.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

5.
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

6.
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot-
Sniff this and weep

7.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

8.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

9.
I Hate my choke chain-
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

10.
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot- -no greater bliss-well,
Maybe catching cats.

11.
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

12.
The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

13.
Dig under fence-why?
Because it s there. Because it's
There. Because it s there.

14.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

15.
You may call them fleas,
But they are far more-I call
Them a vocation

16.
My owners mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

added 06.03.99

see also n/a

updated n/a